Four month old Elspeth

There's little changes this month that only a mama and dad can spot–the way you hold your hands, an understanding in your expression, and more often being a content little one who better knows what she wants and needs. You've taken to the exersaucer (with a little extra padding around your small self). You've got the sweetest and chunkiest thighs. You're a tough little thing, enjoying some crazy loud giggles and squeals and wild games of tickling. 

Taking you on walks out and about and being outside are two favorite things. The loudest giggles (that we still anxiously wait for) come when your brother and friends roll around in the grass. You dressed up and came to your brother's recital at school and listened closely to the singing and recorder playing.

It's the sweetest thing to quietly watch you waking–twice now, you've woken and gently rubbed and talked to the pillow beside you. You're a nose grabbing, toy turning, constant drooling, Bumbo seat sitting babe that we're head over heels for.

Welcoming spring

I love this time of year for all the cleanup and preparations for free time to come. Dusting off patio furniture and hauling the grill out of the garage. Visiting the nurseries, even with no particular plant in mind and leaving with some little thing to try your sometimes-green thumb at. Welcoming warmer weather and pulling out flats and baring legs. Even just relaxing to a cup of coffee and being content to stare out the back door windows to admire the new growth and promise of pops of color to soon join all that lush green. 

It's been raining all afternoon. Spring is definitely here and I'll take it.

A dream for the here and now

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

I was recently reminded of this Epicurus quote. When I was pregnant the first time, people would always tell me, "You're life is going to completely change." Whether they were stating it matter-of-factly or condescendingly, they were right and they were wrong; I gave up the ability to run out at a moment's notice, the carefree ability to make big-life changes without first weighing the pros and cons very seriously, even the now-known treasure of saying whatever I wanted, however I wanted, whenever I wanted–there is a forever filter–that only works about half the time–on my vocal chords...

And then, life seemed–and seems now–exactly the same. What was this life before child/ren? No, not in the way that you miss it and have forgotten how easy things were... certainly this is a part of parenting, but this is not the forgetfulness that I am referring to. The life before this life is nothing in comparison. When I'm running around, rushing, shushing, slinging, cooking, nursing, lifting (nonstop lifting), and trying to juggle not one, but three lives (and four if you count that lovely husband of mine), I am that person. This is who I am and it's hard, debilitating work, but it is so fabulous and so eyeopening that the world is an entirely new place–the only place I want to know.

Occasionally those thoughts inch in... what would I be doing if I wasn't bathing a squirming–ehem, screaming–babe or cleaning up after a nine-year-old for the nine-hundredth time that day? But, mostly, I just want to be here, where I am. Who I am.

Hope is good. It's very good. I have a lot of hope for our future and I have plenty more work to do to get there (that hope is what gets me through that work). And, now, I am sitting back, with barely an extra few minutes to type these very words, and thinking, wow, I have almost everything I have ever truly, really, entirely hoped for. All right here.

Three month old Elspeth

You're a growing gal! You never lost an ounce and you are tall as can be. Your favorite place, after a good nursing, is in your dad's arms. You snuggle up to me in bed at night and, if he's not there yet, you turn and call to him over and over. Your first big laugh happened on Easter, surrounded by laughing family and while watching the ceiling fan spin. 

You've found your hands and love to pull things toward you with closed fists or simply chew on them. You've got opinions: your crib is the pits, you need lots of beauty sleep, and toys are starting to be intriguing. You smile big–always with your eyes–and even look bashful at times.

I love to lay with you and watch a pretty, spinning scene from the projector on the ceiling. We talk about the passing stars and owls and undersea creatures. We're like two picnickers admiring the sky...

Two months old Elspeth

You've grown so much in such little time! It seems like overnight that you are having little conversations with us, making eye contact, and smiling. You make little "woo" noises like an owl when you talk to us and have little giggle fits in your sleep. Your hands grab things tight now: my shirt, a blanket, fingers... 

You close and open your hand against us like you're patting us or trying to tell us something. You still want to be held every moment. Your breath is so sugary sweet and you like to listen to soundtracks of thunderstorms to settle you. We took you on your first walk in the fleeting spring weather and you napped in the wrap the entire time. We love your scratchy little voice and how your biggest smiles are noticeable in your eyes.

You're the sweetest company and we can't imagine a moment without you anymore...

Special thanks to Art School Dropout for the loveliest quilt!

Quiet afternoons and long walks

We're all feeling much better around here and this nice weather that blew in has been perfection. Open windows, a little "spring" cleaning, and a nice long walk with babe. 

Recently I've been drooling over this blog and all the healthy recipes included. Particularly, a delicious entry of overnight oats. I'm made a little rendition of oats, almond milk, saigon cinnamon, peanut butter, and mango. Who knew that little mix of what I found in the fridge would turn out so good?

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend lined up! We're going to continue taking in this exciting change in the weather (I was hoping last week's "blizzard" would have snowed us in one last hurrah of a time. We'll see what odd weather comes in the future!) and spend some time with family.

xo 

Taking it slow

Sean, Everyn and I have all been a little under the weather lately. One little bug after another. It's the hardest thing to not snuggle up together like usual. I'm daydreaming of opening the windows and letting some fresh air inside. Instead, we've brought a little of outside in with some lovely willow branches and then some laying about on couches while the sunshine washes us.

I was attempting to scrutinize the backyard while holding my girl by the windowed-backdoors and am itching to clean up out there. I'm happy to see buds beginning to form. There's a lot growing fast around here and I am set on not rushing a moment too quickly (except those buds of course...)